Do you ever just see the first sentence of a text message and just think “oh fuck no I do not have time for this shit”
Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life
STOP. This is the police, you’re under arrest for being too cute. Now, put your hands where I can hold them.
I would just like to say fuck you to everyone who made me feel inadequate growing up and ruining my self esteem for years. You all suck and I’m glad I don’t talk to any of you any more.